Welcome to the beginning of something wonderful! My intent with these blog posts is to share my thoughts as they relate to emotions, children, parenting, relationships, Human Design, nature (of course!), and spirituality. Whatever I feel called to write about I will. My desire is to go a little deeper to bring about introspection—to question, have ah-has, and try something new.

Lately I've been thinking about children's innate makeup to seek love from their caregivers no matter the cost. During my master's studies in Human Development & Social Policy this topic fascinated me. Humans have the natural tendency to change who we are to get love from those we love. But that cost often haunts us later when we realize as an adult that we've been people pleasing our whole life, hustling for our worth, and completely unaware of who we really are because we've lived out of alignment with our Divine design.

If we could offer children the safety and security to express themselves and be themselves, knowing they will be loved and accepted no matter what there opinions are, we are creating a powerful generation of kids—kids who know themselves, aren't afraid of the judgment of others, and can live in alignment with who they were divinely created to be. 

Sometimes we unknowingly taint our kids' views without realizing it. To illustrate this, let's say figuratively when we are driving to a destination, we always take the backroads. In our minds they're safe, familiar, and reliable, so we think everyone should do the same. But a freeway actually exists. It's faster and more direct, but it feels scary because it's unknown to us. We've never driven on it. We like what's familiar, and we don't like feeling uncomfortable, so we tell everyone how great the backstreets are and how dangerous the freeway is. We know people who drive on the freeway, but it's too out of our comfort zone to ask them what it's like and listen to their opinion. As a result, when our children grow up, they will most likely have a biased opinion about driving on streets vs. freeways. Since we preached backstreets only, our kids most likely will preach the same thing to the people around them with none of us ever even experiencing the freeway! 

Or we might have kids who learn to drive, try the freeway, and tell us how efficient and safe it really is! Will we listen? Will we believe them? If not, they often will no longer come back to us to share more information because of our close-mindedness. And what if our children discover an underground travel system we didn't know existed? Will we believe them? Or a freeway in the sky? To maintain a close relationship with our children, we must be openminded enough to provide a safe space for them to share—a space that is free of our judgments and opinions or that door of communication will soon close.

After listening we can of course say, "Could I share my experience with you?" And if we are communicating from an open, unbiased space they most likely will listen and consider our perspective too. And we can also ask, "Have you gone inward and listened to know if it's right for you?" or "Have you talked to your Creator about this? How do you feel?" 

If we want our children to trust themselves and confidently make decisions as teens and adults, now is the time to give them the space to practice. And now is also the time to give ourselves space to practice being okay with their decisions if they end up being different than what we would've done. This is our learning ground.

Parents and caregivers act as coaches, teachers, nurturers, mentors, etc., who listen, support, and guide without clouding children with our judgments and opinions. By stepping back, we give children space to become more connected with their inner knowing and Creator to make decisions from a place of confidence and intuition rather than fear of their caregivers' opinions. 

So how do we get to that place as adults that we feel secure enough with ourselves to allow children and others to have their own opinions and respect them?

I'm here to go deep with you—deep discussions are usually the only place I want to be! So if you want to chat, brainstorm, or muse, feel free to email me at cartwheel.arts.connection@gmail.com. I can be a safe space to facilitate whatever growth and expansion you're looking for.